The fattest bridesmaid

Yes that is all that is left of the hypothetical wedding cake after me, hypothetical fattest bridesmaid, ate it all at the wedding. That is where the term 'Fat Cake' comes from!

Yes that person that everyone hopes they'll never be....well that has become my reality.

I am to be the fattest bridesmaid at my best friend's wedding. Besides this large issue (ha ha), the other maids and bride have dabbled in modelling...and one of them is up for bride of the year after her own wedding!

BUT - at least there is a but - it is only in January.

That gives me 7 months to tone up and weigh down (or is that tone down and weigh up?).

Plus it will be summer (I'm from South Africa and the wedding's in New Zealand so a bit of a tan might distract from the lumps and bumps sticking out through the planned Grecian dresses.
Or maybe one of the others will get pregnant to detract the attention from me?
Or I can take myself in hand and get serious.
So here it is - my latest pledge.
Long term goal = be a (I'm not even asking for the!) skinny bridesmaid.
Short term goal = fit in to my skinny jeans (It is possibly officially winter now and I really can't get away with only 4 pairs of pants for the season)
The how:
Gym. Hard and properly. Have also signed up for a month of boot camp with digsmates...now if a screaming tyrant is not enough to scare the kgs off, the cold weather we're doing it in certainly will!
Eat properly. Healthily. And do not deny myself things that I crave. My typical method is to simply give 'bad' things up (chocolate, cake!) for long sessions of time but then when that time is up and I pat myself on the back..I go gobbledy gook - literally. This is also where my Treat Tin comes in too - time to start saving up some serious petty cash!
Because I absolutely to be THAT girl - the fattest bridesmaid! 

Dear new relationship

I am very happy for the spark and flourish that is your new love affair.
The excitement at getting a surprise knock at your door, the agony you go through waiting for your bbm message to deliver, be read....and then his reply!
I understand that you can think of nothing better than being holed up in your love nest all weekend - taking breaks only to order take-out or visit the gym (if you don't feel you're getting enough exercise already).
I also get the nervous anticipation when you introduce the new guy or girl in your life to your friends - will they like him/her? will he/she like them? Will you all get on fabulously and he just slips into the group dynamic?
Even more scary is the meet-the-family - because as much as you might not like to admit, you do care if your mom or dad doesn't like your new other half.
Walks around the neighbourhood hand-in-hand
Coffee and dessert dates at Sandton Square
Going to movies and missing the whole show
Sharing one box of popcorn (pretending to like salt & vinegar when really salt is the only pure topping for popcorn)
Talking hypothetically about which dogs you would like (a little Daschund called Poppie please, fine you can have your staffies - no Daschunds are still cuter)
I understand all this - I've been there too - And just for the record I still want a Daschund, I now have my own box of popcorn, salted and Curly and I went for a walk around the dam hand-in-hand just yesterday.
But.
What I CANNOT condone is letting go of all your mates for the sake of the latest love thing.
Of stopping inviting friends over to your house when you've been the social Mecca of the town. Btw, he's now building a bar in his house...but we're wondering who's going to be standing around it?
Of not going out with one of your good mate's on her birthday.
Of never being able to do anything without your other half.

I understand this is a budding romance and the honeymoon stage is very much in progress....I just have to wonder what's going to happen if a romance dies, or the honeymoon settles into something permanent - who are you going to invite round for a Sunday braai? Or a double date?
You've managed to forget about all your friends as you become 'that couple'
I guess all I can do is wish you happiness on your island then.
I think I'm going to organise a braai.

Wedding lessons

1. Having a huge enormous family is amazing - having cousins getting married on a regular basis so we can all get together and party? Priceless.
2. Leaving both your personal and work camera locked up in the office is really just quite silly.
3. Choose a beautiful setting for your ceremony - that's where the real important stuff in front of God happens.
4. Choose a relaxed setting for your reception - so you can have plenty of people to party up a storm.
5. Don't serve steak as the main - everyone likes it different and it's hard to make sure that you don't serve any tough pieces.
6. Do hire a wedding DJ and give him a good idea of your guests and the types of music they enjoy (old school all the way!)
7. Do trick people by saying cash bar on invitation and then turns out it's free :) 
8. Wise idea not to have shooters available so everyone just gets to the merry level all night.
9. Do party with your guests until 2.30am - you invited them coz they special, so celebrate together!
10. Do spend that first night in a romantic place - even though you're exhausted - a lovely tent overlooking the gorge on your farm is a good idea if you have one available :)

Polaroid fun

So I've been terribly slack with my blog so thought I'd have a little fun with a cool Polaroid app I've found. Still just playing around - just worked out how to save on mac but not sure about the whole cropping thing yet. But take a look so far....

You have the right to shut up

Last night after work, myself, Curly and our friend D Dog were sitting on the verandah having a 'shmoke and a pancake' and the topic of the upcoming local elections came up.
Curly: "I feel really guilty that I didn't register" (which he should, but in fairness was in between homes so didn't know what his local ward was)
D Dog: "I don't, I don't care."

And that comment made me want to rage.
And I told him so, saying then fine he has no right to complain about our Government. Nothing. I don't want to hear a word about corruption, potholes, road works, expensive electricity etc etc etc.
"But I pay taxes."
No D-Dog that is not enough.
If every person thought like you there would be no chance in ever making a change to government.
And even though the DA is not going to be taking over running the country any time soon, the local elections give the opportunity to elect your DA ward councillor - who will be the person instrumental in making changes to your suburb, your street!
And what with all the in-fighting the ANC is doing at the moment and the debacle over candidates not being put on lists etc, now is the time for the DA to show off Cape Town as their service delivery example and grab hold of wavering votes!

So yes, D-Dog, you should care.

What motivates me?

 This post on Spark People really struck a cord with me...what really motivates me to go to gym at 5.50am in the cold and ark - or snuggle back in to bed.

True or False: My motivation seems to depend on what the scale (or tape measure, fit of my clothes, etc.) says. I feel motivated when I see results, but unmotivated when I don’t. SCORE (1-10): _____ 

If you marked this statement True, and gave it a high score (5+), you are relying too much on external (extrinsic) forms of motivation and need to work on developing your internal (intrinsic) motivation.

There is nothing at all wrong with extrinsic motivation—we all need to see some concrete, measurable progress towards equally concrete and measurable goals. But, since these external results are so fickle and unpredictable when it comes to weight loss, you also need some internal motivation to keep you going when the scale (or your body) isn’t cooperating with your expectations. Here’s a simple exercise you can do to find out which sources of internal motivation might work best for you:

Imagine you live on a planet where scales and mirrors have never existed, where everyone wears one-size-fits-all unisex robes that effectively disguise their actual physical appearances. There are no standard height and weight charts, and your doctor has never heard of the Body Mass Index or waist-to-hip ratios. How will you decide whether your body is the way you want it to be? If you decide some changes are necessary, how will you know whether you are making progress towards those changes?

For example, ask yourself how you’re handling everyday tasks, like squatting down to pick something up, getting up from a chair, or working on your feet all day. If you’re carrying some extra weight, it may begin to affect your performance or comfort level when doing these activities. To make things easier, you may decide to reduce your calorie intake to get back down to a manageable size and building strength to make moving easier. Set a concrete, measurable goal that will make you feel better—like getting up out of the chair without using your arms—and set up an exercise program that will strengthen your muscles and improve your endurance. Keep track of your progress by noticing changes in your ability to handle your daily activities.

Use the same approach if your physical condition is causing problems with your moods or energy levels. Remember when you felt mostly good and ask yourself what you did to feel that way (not what your weight may have been). Start doing more of what you did then, as best you can, and experiment with different exercises and foods until you come up with options that help you feel the way you want to.

You get the basic idea here: weight is not the real problem, and losing weight is not the real solution. The problem is how you feel and what you can do. The solution is doing things that make you feel better (physically and mentally) and improve your functional abilities. To find out what those things are, you need to look inside yourself and observe what happens when you try different things.

Once you have some ideas along these lines, try to turn them into specific goals and measurable outcomes you can incorporate into your SparkPeople program.

For the full article, follow this link.

Quote of the day

Speak your mind...

but ride a fast horse