Gang Bang Chicken

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Explore, Dream, Discover

Twenty years from now

you will be more disappointed 

by the things that you didn't do

than by the ones you did do.

So throw off the bowlines.

Sail away from the safe harbour.

Catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore. Dream. Discover.

- Mark Twain

Career guidance

'To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth.'

SA Rocks

What an awesome idea for a website: SA Rocks

Here's the About from the site:

After reading the incredibly upsetting anti-SA blogs from expats around the world I decided to make a stand. This blog is that stand. I am standing up for all the good in SA. For all the great things that SA citizens do and for all the people who love this country. I love this country and I believe in it and the success that is soon to come.

SA Rocks is not a website dedicated to blindly praising South Africa. I understand that every country has flaws and I do not deny the flaws of South Africa. I do feel that there are enough people who berate our country and it’s time for people to start acting and thinking positively about South Africa.

Please feel free to send your idea of what a Rocking SA is. 

Why don't you take a look at the site here? 

Four way stops work...mostly

There has been a spate of robots out around Johannesburg (there are always some, so just more than usual!) and I must say, I've been generally quite impressed by how courteous every driver is in waiting his turn and crossing accordingly.

Every robot I've seen this at seems not to have an Outsurance pointsman (those people we have all come to love who smile and get us through the morning and evening traffic) and yet things are seemingly running smoothly.

Another interesting thought on the subject is how roundabouts and circles work in Joburg (I say Joburg specifically, but this probably applies to every city) because it really is different to the small town scenario.
- It's first come first serve
- Cars then generally follow a clockwise route (obviously - we drive on the left side!) but I mean we give way to the right
- But if that person on your right arrived later than you, then there is no harm in cutting in and going ahead with your business.

A little earlier today I was in Alexandra near the Pan African Mall and I also witnessed this courtesy. Now bear in mind that Pan African Mall is the first wholly integrated taxi rank and shopping mall in the country so there are A LOT of taxis. And people in the roads. And hawkers selling their wares. And school kids laughing on their way home. And gogos going to the store to pick up social grants and food for the month (it being the 30th and all).

Pic cred: sarocks.co.za

Of course, since living in Joburg and having to drive on Louis Botha Avenue everyday, where taxis stop dead in the road at every block, I've gotten quite used to taxis.

And must admit that I've started to drive a little like them. So in the above situation - where I was dodging kids, chickens and inconveniently parked vehicles (but it's ok - they had their hazards on!) - I managed to zip through and dodge any obstacles until I finally reached the main road that actually had working robots.

I had also managed to keep a smile on my face because Joburg drivers - even the taxis - can get four way stops right.

High five everyone!

Myth: Eating after 8:00 p.m. Makes You Fat 

 Eating after a certain hour won't necessarily mean you'll pack on pounds, just as staying out after midnight won’t turn you into a pumpkin. This Cinderella-esque fat fairy tale continues to exist, but the bottom line is that your metabolism doesn't know what time it is, Batayneh says.
Skip the mad rush to consume as much food as you can before the clock strikes 8:00. "Calories are calories, no matter when you eat them, but what does matter is what and how much of it you eat. Late-night snacking gets a bad rap because often the foods that are consumed late at night are calorie-dense foods (chips, ice cream, pizza, and other junk food) and may be in excess calories to your daily caloric needs, which translates to weight gain."


Compliments of:

11 Nutrition Myths That Can Cause Weight Gain

Nutritionist Rania Batayneh, MPH sets the record straight to help you lose the weight.

By Jessica Smith

Read the full article
here

Coz we gotta have faith

"Faith hears the inaudible, sees the invisible, believes the incredible, and receives the impossible" - Anonymous

Julius, bet you wish you didn't sing that song now!

And so everyone's favourite ANCYL leader decides to give up politics and take up the life of a farmer in Limpopo.

Does he realise he can't bribe the weather?

New Zealand here I come!

Bay of Isles, New Zealand.
This is where I'll be in January celebrating one of my best friends, Amber's wedding.

Leave approved, I'm going!

And if this picture isn't enough to motivate me to work my ass off for the next three weeks to ensure that I have one and a half mags completed early, I don't know what is!

No wonder there is an obesity problem!

This is a picture of my absolutely delicious lunch - a grilled haloumi salad complete with avo, corn, nuts and brinjal. A kaleidoscope of flavours I must tell you!

I should also tell you that these are the leftovers from my supper last night. Notice the rather full plate? 

It also looked like a full plate last night - just a much larger one! So there were easily two portions in that ginourmous excuse for a plate.

It's no wonder there is an obesity problem!

So here I am complaining about how sneaky JB's Corner was to give me so much deliciousness (loving grilled haloumi - yum yum!!) because even too much avo and haloumi will be a bad thing. And I reckon I fared better than my dining partner who, after ordering the chicken shnitzel, was greeted with the most enormous mound of cheaps (at least 2 servings of large McDonalds' chips right there), 2 shnitzels, plus a gravy bought of mushroom sauce.

Luckily we both have the self control (and budgeting problems) to eat only half of our meals and save the rest for lunch today - but I'm sure it would be normal for someone else to guzzle down the whole plate.

And considering restaurants to discriminate (or accommodate) for ladies and men's portions, that there plate was what a regular man would call a decent portion!

South Africans are fat!

South Africans are the third fattest nation on earth. A survey done in 2010 by GlaxoSmithKline has found that 61% of the South African population are overweight or morbidly obese.

Government is taking action of course. Minister of Health, Dr Aaron Motsoaledi has set targets to radically reduce non-communicable diseases (including CVD, cancer, diabetes and chronic lung disease) – the majority of which are caused by poor choices and behaviours. The target set for overweight/obesity is to reduce it by 10% by 2020. He also said at the conference that fast food companies would soon be forbidden from marketing their ‘unhealthy’ products on TV during children’s programmes. 

Well Dr Motsoaledi, I think you should also insist on restaurant's declaring the kilojoule count of each dish they serve on the menu. I realise it should be up to individuals to be discerning about what they choose off it but at least when a hungry patron is drooling at the thought of a bacon and blue cheese burger with extra cheese sauce plus fries.....by seeing that enormous number of calories about to be consumed, they might just choose something else > or at least skip the extra cheese sauce and opt for salad instead of fries!

Muzzled

iFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMamFREEDOMFREEDOMaFREEDOMFREEDOMjournalist.
FREEDOMtodayFREEDOMFREEDOMourFREEDOMfreedomFREEDOMFREEDOMwillFREEDOM
FREEDOMbeFREEDOMFREEDOMtakenFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMaway.
FREEDOMFREEDOMjustFREEDOMasFREEDOMFREEDOMthisFREEDOMbasicFREEDOMFREEDOM
FREEDOMdemocraticFREEDOMFREEDOMrightFREEDOMFREEDOMwillFREEDOMFREEDOM
FREEDOMbeFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMtakenFREEDOMawayFREEDOMFREEDOMfromFREEDOM
FREEDOMFREEDOMeveryFREEDOM;southFREEDOMFREEDOMafrican.
FREEDOMweFREEDOMFREEDOMhaveFREEDOMtheFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMrightFREEDOM

FREEDOMFREEDOMtoFREEDOMFREEDOMknow.FREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOM

FREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFRE
FREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOM
FREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOM
FREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMFREEDOMDEAD.  

Old people at gyms scare me

I'm sorry to sound so ageist - but old people at gyms really scare me.
Not because I'm freaked out by saggy skin and wrinkles, but I fear for their health.

This morning after a hectic kickboxing class, we were all stretching and the older gentleman next to me seemed to fall on his knees - and stayed on all fours panting for a while.

I looked at him in alarm - was he having a heartache, do I ask him if he's ok, is that just a sweaty brow from the numerous kicks, squats and punches we've been doing for the past hour or is that the sweaty brow before a heart attack?

Needless to say, I'm quite glad I didn't share my concern with him as he would have been mightily insulted - because he managed to arise and stagger to his water bottle and towel quite easily (all things considered) a few minutes later.

Another time, I was peddling away on a bike when a very aged gentleman took ownership of the one next to me. Despite his white-haired and droppy man boobed athleticism, I was seriously worried that he might keel over at any moment and literally spent the whole time keeping an eye on him (as the speed of my bike slowed from the misguided concentration).

I'm all for keeping yourself on your toes (maybe not literally due to possible ankle arthritis...can you get arthritis there?) for health reasons. Because besides the unexpected strokes, cancers and heart attacks (the last, I suppose is kinda a result of not doing enough of the health thing), that's what's going to keep us alive longest. But I think other gym members might prefer if you stick to less heart pumping activities like pilates and water aerobics.

Or at least - be sure to "consult your physician before starting any physical exercise programme" as every gym machine warns.

Ah...so that's what they're there for!

Conquering coffee

As part of a challenge set down by my Life Group last week, I attempted to give up coffee for a while. The aim was to give up something you 'value' > and ultimately see how, in actual fact, you really don't need it at all. Because at the end of the day, it's just you and God right?

So while I may not have done something as dramatic as give my bed, car or cell phone (one has to live after all!) I did give up something that I ritually drink every morning - and a few times a day.
Just by the way, I did actually live without my phone for Day 1 - after I accidentally, on purpose left it at home - and I survived remarkably well.

This giving up coffee thing turned out to be quite tricky actually as this week was my deadline week so 13 hours of writing, I was a shriveled mess. I actually put myself to bed last night at 9pm because I was barely functioning as a person and could not really bring myself to even have a conversation!

So as part of the new week I made myself a cup of coffee this morning and must admit that it didn't taste that great.
I can really see myself getting out of the habit (well I'll have to report back after 21 days - the time it apparently takes to start a new habit).
But I do not promise to never have a delicious foamy cappuccino with that itsy biscotti nestled into the china the next time I go to Mugg & Bean!

Cheers!

Crying with laughter!

Eye Contact (back by popular demand)

Has anyone seen Aunt Telcia?




Thanks awkwardfamilyphotos.com for making me laugh!

Be wise with your bonus

Some VERY wise words from an extract of a press release I received today

The festive season is upon us again. The spirit of jubilation has started filling the air as many consumers prepare to receive their 13th cheques.

However, if you do not plan carefully on how you are going to use your hard-earned 13th cheque cash, you will be indirectly planning to be broke in January, says CEO of the National Debt Mediation Association (NDMA), Magauta Mphahlele.

She adds that you must keep a cool head over this Festive Season.

“Though there might be emotional, marketing and social pressures to spend big monies during the festive period, try to filter these pressures out of your life by drawing up a budget,” says Mphahlele.
 “The budget should be a true reflection of your Festive season income and how you should spend it wisely so that it does not result in you having to seek loans to cover your expenses,” she says.

“A large portion of your budget should be allocated to necessary items like food, school uniform, debt, transport and emergencies. An insignificant part of your income should go towards entertainment,” says Mphahlele.

“You must make the drafting of budget part of your culture and you must not backslide on this habit,” says Mphahlele. “If you make budgeting a habit, you could significantly improve your cash flow due to the monitoring of spending patterns,” says adds.

The association warns consumers to remember that after you receive your December income, your next pay will come at the end of January – a month that has its own school of expenses.

Tips to be prudent with your spending this Festive season come when the inflation stands at 5.7%. The price of petrol this month leapt to a record high of R10.60 compared to R8.29 this time last year.

“High inflation and fuel prices threaten to erode the purchasing power of many consumers and it is clear that this festive period consumers should spend wisely. Those who fail to do so, might end up unnecessarily being forced to take additional credit,” says Mphahlele.

Tips to save this festive season:

Ø    Buy gifts only for close family and friends that are not expensive and would last for a long time. Where possible make the gifts yourself. This can be a fun family activity.

Ø     Rather entertain friends and family members at home and ask guests to chip in salads and beverages;

Ø    Use your bonus to trim your debt burden by paying off existing debt so that you can start the New Year on a clean slate; and

Ø    Try to buy everything at once when going out to shop in order to save on travel costs.

Ø    If going on holiday choose accommodation where you can book in as a group and share the costs.

ISSUED BY: Fezile Africa
Bullion PR & Communication
Tel: (011) 803 3615
Cell: 083 386 0839
E-mail: fezile@bullionpr.com
Website: www.bullionpr.co.za

Not just angry whites

Curly and I attended the Opportunities Australia Expo on Saturday- just to see what our options were - with a thought of maybe going to work there for a year or two.
As we walked in I heard a voice dripping with pessimism about our wonderful country. Not surprisingly (as stereotypes go), he was a burly 50-something man in two tones.
And that's how I imagined this expo to go - a bunch of disgruntled white South Africans looking to move down under - the land of milk and honey it seems.

I was therefore utterly amazed to see the actual turnout as we sat down for a seminar on Working in the Northern Territory (which, FYI, apparently has a wonderful tropical climate - so a gorgeous six months followed by rain, rain, rain).
I can honestly say that the ratio between white, Indian and black people was pretty much equal. I must admit that made me feel slightly less unpatriotic as I sat there because we (I mean Curly and I, not white people in general) are not the only ones looking outside our borders for a future.
At the same time, it was quite an awakening to see that there are many people - across all race groups - that are not satisfied with how our country and big business is (often) being run (tenderpreneurs, cadres, *cough).

But as I sat there listening to these Aussies boast about their lifestyle, job opportunities etc...it made me remember my, perhaps, rose-tinted view on life when I wanted to make a difference - in South Africa.

Besides finding out that journalism is not one of the crucial skills required by the Australian government, I sense times a-changing...with perhaps a career change on the horizon.

Watch this space.

Our thinking versus God's truth

Some wise words sent to me this morning by a friend

 His Promise is impossible

• All things are possible (Luke 18:27)

I'm too tired

• I will give you rest (Matt 11:28-30)

Nobody really loves me

• I love you (John 3:16)

I can't go on

• My grace is sufficient (2 Cor 12:9)

I can't figure things out

• I will direct your steps (Prov 20:24)

I can't do it

• You can do all things (Phil 4: 13)

I'm not able

• I am able (2 Cor 9:8)

It's not worth it

• It will be worth it (Rom 8:28)

I can't forgive myself

• I forgive you (1 John 1:9, Rom 8:28)

I can't manage

• I will supply all you need (Phil 4:19)

I am afraid

• I have not given you a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7)

I'm always worried and frustrated

• Cast all your care upon me (1 Peter 5:7)

I haven't enough faith

• I've given everyone a measure of faith (Rom: 8)

 I'm not smart enough

• I give you wisdom (1 Cor 1: 30)

I feel so alone

• I will never leave you or forsake you (Heb 13: 5)

Barcelona impressions

Sagrada Familia. Antonio Gaudi's life's work that remains unfinished 80 years after his death. Progress is slow as work is completely reliant on donations!

Plaza Catalunya and Las Ramblas - the tourist hear of the city. A vibrant kaleidoscope of language, entertainment and food!

Sitges - just how you imagine a seaside town in Europe! Plus a gay beach!

Ironic and/or profound.

Just as you imagine a wedding in a seaside town in Europe.

Pretty perfect.

Viva la Espagnol!

 

Inside Sagrada Familia - majestic glory.

Breathtaking Barcelona.

Snapshot of Barcelona

View of Barcelona and the Mediterranean from Parc Guelle

Taking on Barcelona

Written while killing time in Frankfurt in September en route to Barcelona Spain.

I’m off for a very exciting trip to Barcelona for work. ‘Work’ in that it is for the preliminary press conference before the proper trade show next year. I.e the whole aim is to schmooz us so we write nice things about the conference and give them lots of coverage.

Here’s my travel journal.

Flying solo

So I’m very much a travel rookie. And a paranoid one at that.

So much so that I just had a minor panic attack at Frankfurt airport as I wait for my flight to Barcelona – my boarding pass clearly says I board at 9.20 and yet I suddenly panicked, imagining that my fight was actually earlier and I had missed it and now I was stuck in Germany.

Coincidentally, Curly is not too far away from here on a training trip for work too – so help would have kinda been on hand….kinda.

This paranoia is not borne out of nothing mind you. I have managed to miss a flight (absolutely completely got to the airport too late after a visit to Curly during Varsity days). And I’ve also booked a flight to Cape Town instead of PE once – and having to buy an entirely new ticket on a student budget is really not ideal. But this time around I should be able to trust the travel agent to get me to my final destination in one piece…provided I don’t screw it up of course!

But back to my rookie status.

So I have been overseas before – just not ever by myself.

So things like organizing tickets, buying forex and making sure I get to the final destination has never really been my problem. Until now.

So leaving things to the last minute is really what I do best (and considering I have a deadline-driven job, this means that I’m pretty much always living life on the ‘edge’).

So on Tuesday, the day before I was leaving I go into the bank to organize forex (getting in just before the 3.30pm cut off of course…..) only to discover that one must in fact order it 24 hours in advance.

Scuz me for thinking that I can just hand you some Rands and you’ll hand me many fewer notes of Euro back!

Luckily FNB is amazing (yes that’s a brand punt right there) and they promised to have my Euros ready first thing the next day. And there actually was some method to my waiting til the last minute madness….the Rand took a terrible dip against the dollar and Euro last week so at least by waiting til this week, it had recovered slightly so I got a few more Euros for my Rands!

Now, rookie error number 2:

Just a minor one – but I’m so used to local departures where you check in and then go through the boarding gates somewhere else…that I tried to do that at internationals at OR Tambo airport too. Apparently you’re meant to go past the check in lady to the departure area….woops!

Sinking down into my seat on Lufthansa was when the thought finally sank in: I’m on my way to Barcelona!

Rookie error number 3: Choosing a window seat.

Now don’t get me wrong – a window seat is great during the day so you can see some sights (and many clouds) on your trip – but if you’re flying at night, it’s not really going to be a bonus feature.

I did score though that there was an empty seat next to me so I could move my bag and stretch out my legs throughout the trip – and sprawl across the extra space when it came time to sleep (which incidentally, was not as easy as I had expected – thinking I was absolutely exhausted after my crazy last few days trying to meet deadlines!).

But where the rookie error really comes in is this – 10 hour flight, and you can’t get out of your seat to stretch your legs or go to the loo.

Of course, I could have asked the lady in the aisle seat but by the time I needed to wizzle (at approximately 1am when I had given up trying to fall asleep to the Lion King soundtrack) she was fast asleep.

No worries, I thought, I’ll just wait til she gets up to go and then make my hasty exit too. Except that never happened. Not once.

All I can say is thank goodness I only had one glass of wine at dinner and hadn’t plucked up the courage to call for the air hostess to bring some water in the middle of the night!

I’m now sitting in Frankfurt airport, calm and collected and feeling like a proper business women typing away on my new Mac Book Air. The sign has risen and I’m ready for Barcelona.

It’s definitely going to take me a day or two to stop converting Euros into Rands and being shocked by the fact that a bottle of water has literally just cost me R35 – more than the cost of a small sandwich I could have bought.

I suppose this is a good way cut down on calories (and cents) before the big Barcelona splurge?

Auf wiederzen for now!

Sigh

That’s all I can do as I look to see when I last posted on my blog.

Sigh because I have so many stories just sitting in my head itching to burst on to a page – but my creativity trap door gets shut while I try gain control of my work load.

Promises.

That’s what comes next.

Goals to blog everyday, or at least once a week, or to jot down titles in drafts that I’ll come back to.

Frustration.

That’s what I feel about this blog – because I’m really not doing it justice at all, nor gaining any kind of presence on the bloggersphere.

Which is part of why I have one in the first place – so for future job interviews I can showcase what I do on the online sphere.

Definition.

I also grapple with the purpose of this blog. Is it an online diary? A platform to showcase some of my articles – that really don’t get enough airtime on our website? A way to rant, explore and get creative?

I think it’s supposed to be a little bit of everything.

Either way – it’s not meant to be a lot of nothing – which is its current status.

And now?

So I’m not going to make any promises about frequency, content or excitement. I’m just gonna get cracking.

And now that I have a beautiful silver lap top (thanks to my boss realizing that (a) I need to be able to work from home to get everything done on my one man show and (b) my office Mac is packing now) I can do this!

Over and out.

Sheesh

Soooo..... I'm slightly embarrassed to see that my last post was on 22 August - that means that 2 whole months of my life have not been accounted for.
This certainly makes me wake up to the fact that life, too, could just pass by in a flurry of deadlines, parties, food and friends - without too much being remembered. Not to say I want this blog to be a diary of my life (that's what diaries are for I suppose) but just that I've had so many thoughts, comments, ideas and experiences over the last month that I myself have not had time (or taken the time) to remember and cherish.

But. that all changes today. Already the 2nd of the month (I actually had this thought yesterday and didn't take myself up to my laptop immediately to start on the project and as a result forgot). But I promise to you - and more importantly to myself - that I will write something, show something, think something at least once a day for the next month.

That way I hope to reconnect with myself, with my creativity and actually be on the Butterfly Journey that I had planned.

Good luck to me!

Thought for the day

Dustbin diggers

Dustbin diggers.
They've become a regular morning feature for most of us as we travel to work - those rubbish collectors. Not the official ones hired by the City of Joburg's Pikitup to collect our trash - those guys (they're nearly always young black men) digging in our dustbins on the street looking for metal, plastic - anything they can sell for scraps - and anything else at all that might be useful to them.
Leftovers, old newspapers, broken gadgets and more.

'One man's rubbish is another man's treasure'...or so the saying goes along those lines.

A treasure trove for hundreds of unemployed

I've written more than one article on these characters in local rags I've worked at (going to try dig these up) so it is not like it's a new idea to travel in the Fluffy mind maze...but an incident yesterday got me thinking about how crazy and unfair a world we live in that people have to dig in dustbins.....but at the same time a high five for taking their destiny into their own hands instead of begging at robots - not remaining a victim of circumstance. And perhaps they ought to be employed instead of the littering SAMWU strikers?

But back to my story...

Curly and I went for a lovely afternoon stroll around Melrose yesterday and as we were cutting through the park home we noticed a rather amusing site - a man had set up camp between some trees (I should have had my camera handy, perhaps). He'd created a make shift house using scraps and odds and ends - obviously requisitioned from some or other dustbin. There was even a bed base lying on its side - a dirty rug was more likely his bed though.

Anyway, Curly decided he wanted to go in for a closer look but I pulled away and walked up the hill instead, not wanting to look like a tourist at the zoo, gawking at the tigers and baboons. I thought it would be degrading and just plain rude to do a walk-by...before heading back to the comfort of a big house full of warmth and things.

I ended up waiting on top of the hill for Curly as he stayed chatting with the man (we named him Thabo) for ages....and I started to feel bad that I had underestimated his intentions.

And then he gave me a report back:
Thabo was just staying in the park temporarily, waiting for the man to come give him something because the job was done with the grass cutting machine. And then he was going to take all this stuff that he's collected from the stirring back to his 2 townhouses just down there - "they're only town houses." And this is actually his park and he's going to build a sea here for the boats.

He seemed to know exactly where he was and the surrounding areas...but was totally in his own world.

Happy but oblivious to his situation?

Or perhaps, happy because he has made himself oblivious (through some drug or alcohol or substance) to the situation he finds himself in.

More motivation?

A girl can dream right?

So I guess now that I've installed that little widget on the side there to keep track of my running miles - to be on view to the world - I better get going on racking up some road dust?
Although the bizarre weather that has struck Joburg today....rain, hail and even snow in some parts (but sadly not at my office) is not going to push me out for a run.
But after all, summer is coming (although most definitely not here yet)
- And I still the the Fattest Bridesmaid saga to fear
- And I'm already halfway through my Weight Watchers journey (and eek it's Weigh In Tuesday tomorrow - troubling after two weeks of public holiday and alcoholic occasions!)

So best I get running then hey?

P.S Promises for a more thoughtful and news relevant post soon as opposed to the self-involved nature of this one!

The best way to resign (is there one?)

It turns out there is a good and a bad way to resign from your job. I recently experienced the bad so thought it a good idea to jot down a few key points to ensure that I do a better job when it comes to my resigning at some future date from some future job.
1. Don't waste their time. If you use 'the job just doesn't fit' as your reason for leaving, how bout you come to that realisation a little sooner. Say, 2 months ago before a lot of time, effort and money is invested in you. And before you're made permanent after an extended probation period, perhaps?
2. Get out already. Look, if a job's not right for you then it's not right - and better to get out before you get sucked into a spiral of unhappiness. But seriously, if you've known it's not right from the start, don't delay and just go away!
3. The complaining game. There's nothing worse than people that complain all the time. The long commute, the traffic, the strict deadlines, the workload...... we all experience it every day I promise. Instead, just get on with it and/or do something about it. (I suppose this relates to points 1 and 2 too).
4. Be professional. When I resign I will certainly take this point to heart and go about the process in a professional and curvaceous manner. Rather than waiting for the end of the day to deposit an envelope on the ME's desk and mention 'By the way' to the person above you, why not sit them down and discuss the matter (I realise this is awkward but rather help them understand, surely?)
5. Say thank you. I think it is a fair way to end a working relationship to thank the person who has (hopefully) guided and taught you in your position. A simple thank you really would go down well. Instead of, say, 'Do you know if the ME will be paying me today for the 6 days I've worked this month'.

**Disappointed and bitter much?

"Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can, and
the wisdom to know the difference."

  --  Saint Francis of Assisi

I am

I am... happy with my life right now

 I know... there is still so much more to learn

I want... to get my phone back from Curly's house

I wish... I had not bumped my head on the wall and proceeded to leave my entire handbag at his house

I hate... missing out

I miss... good friends from the past

I fear... becoming another crime statistic in SA

I feel... a little hungry - perhaps time for an orange

I smell... nothing much at all really but would love to smell freshly mowed grass

I hear...the constant whirring of the computers around me

I crave...my phone? chocolate? for time to hurry up?

I search...to find my greater purpose on earth

I wonder..if/when I will discover it

I regret...not cherishing every moment I have with my family

I love...being loved and loving

I ache...nowhere right now but that might change after boot camp tonight!

I am not..wearing any makeup today because I left that at Curly's house too!

I dance...really badly but that doesn't stop me from doing it

I sing...off key but think I sound great sometimes

I cried last…this morning after I bumped my head on a wall

I fight…seldomly - I hate confrontation!

I write…for a living, who would have thought my creative writing essays from school would have sparked my career!

I win…no board games - I'm the best person to play with

I lose…my phone in my bag all the time

I am never…going to settle for complacency

I always…try to be there for others - but need to stop using sleep as an excuse to fade early

I listen…to 702 on the way home for intelligent discussions to end my day

I can usually be found…drinking tea with a biscuit with a book after work

I need…my handbag quite desperately

I am happy…where I am in life and who I share it with

I imagine…a world where every day is Mandela Day!

Bootcamp Chronicles

 So housemates, B, R, S and I started bootcamp on Monday.
We've had over a month to prepare for this after purchasing a fantastic wicount voucher for a month's training for just R80 (always game for a bargain - the real price is R450 - we didn't hesitate signing our bodies away).

We definitely didn't think the decision through so overwhelmed were we by the bargain and bonding opportunity.
Because its already practically dark by the time the 6pm class dawns (or is that sets?) - not to mention the fact that we are in the middle of winter (with a cold front conveniently adding to the bite of that first class). No wonder it was such a bargain!

B fell to the wayside on Day 1 (flu + a weekend of binge partying at Durban July) so us three muskateers headed to the battle ground, nervous as hell.

Observation 1 - there are no fat people (so much for being able to show up anybody in class some of our competitive natures cried)
Observation 2 - we had to rate out fitness and join a group accordingly (wise decision to choose 'average') and fall in the green 'easy' group
Observation 3 - green  ain't no walk in the park
Observation 4 - hot instructors. Now at least that works on our motivation!
Observation 5 - At least we weren't 'yes, yes sir-ing' like we imagined but WOW we are going to be so stiff tomorrow!

And that we were - R the most so (despite plans to move up to yellow in the next class)
but by day 2 I was even worse than her - couldn't stop laughing at myself as I hobbled down the stairs at work, holding on to the wall.

I just have to keep reminding myself that it'll all be worth it when summer comes....
And at least we're so stiff that we aren't even remotely tempted to get off the couch to find biscuits or chocolate to make us feel better!

The fattest bridesmaid

Yes that is all that is left of the hypothetical wedding cake after me, hypothetical fattest bridesmaid, ate it all at the wedding. That is where the term 'Fat Cake' comes from!

Yes that person that everyone hopes they'll never be....well that has become my reality.

I am to be the fattest bridesmaid at my best friend's wedding. Besides this large issue (ha ha), the other maids and bride have dabbled in modelling...and one of them is up for bride of the year after her own wedding!

BUT - at least there is a but - it is only in January.

That gives me 7 months to tone up and weigh down (or is that tone down and weigh up?).

Plus it will be summer (I'm from South Africa and the wedding's in New Zealand so a bit of a tan might distract from the lumps and bumps sticking out through the planned Grecian dresses.
Or maybe one of the others will get pregnant to detract the attention from me?
Or I can take myself in hand and get serious.
So here it is - my latest pledge.
Long term goal = be a (I'm not even asking for the!) skinny bridesmaid.
Short term goal = fit in to my skinny jeans (It is possibly officially winter now and I really can't get away with only 4 pairs of pants for the season)
The how:
Gym. Hard and properly. Have also signed up for a month of boot camp with digsmates...now if a screaming tyrant is not enough to scare the kgs off, the cold weather we're doing it in certainly will!
Eat properly. Healthily. And do not deny myself things that I crave. My typical method is to simply give 'bad' things up (chocolate, cake!) for long sessions of time but then when that time is up and I pat myself on the back..I go gobbledy gook - literally. This is also where my Treat Tin comes in too - time to start saving up some serious petty cash!
Because I absolutely to be THAT girl - the fattest bridesmaid! 

Dear new relationship

I am very happy for the spark and flourish that is your new love affair.
The excitement at getting a surprise knock at your door, the agony you go through waiting for your bbm message to deliver, be read....and then his reply!
I understand that you can think of nothing better than being holed up in your love nest all weekend - taking breaks only to order take-out or visit the gym (if you don't feel you're getting enough exercise already).
I also get the nervous anticipation when you introduce the new guy or girl in your life to your friends - will they like him/her? will he/she like them? Will you all get on fabulously and he just slips into the group dynamic?
Even more scary is the meet-the-family - because as much as you might not like to admit, you do care if your mom or dad doesn't like your new other half.
Walks around the neighbourhood hand-in-hand
Coffee and dessert dates at Sandton Square
Going to movies and missing the whole show
Sharing one box of popcorn (pretending to like salt & vinegar when really salt is the only pure topping for popcorn)
Talking hypothetically about which dogs you would like (a little Daschund called Poppie please, fine you can have your staffies - no Daschunds are still cuter)
I understand all this - I've been there too - And just for the record I still want a Daschund, I now have my own box of popcorn, salted and Curly and I went for a walk around the dam hand-in-hand just yesterday.
But.
What I CANNOT condone is letting go of all your mates for the sake of the latest love thing.
Of stopping inviting friends over to your house when you've been the social Mecca of the town. Btw, he's now building a bar in his house...but we're wondering who's going to be standing around it?
Of not going out with one of your good mate's on her birthday.
Of never being able to do anything without your other half.

I understand this is a budding romance and the honeymoon stage is very much in progress....I just have to wonder what's going to happen if a romance dies, or the honeymoon settles into something permanent - who are you going to invite round for a Sunday braai? Or a double date?
You've managed to forget about all your friends as you become 'that couple'
I guess all I can do is wish you happiness on your island then.
I think I'm going to organise a braai.

Wedding lessons

1. Having a huge enormous family is amazing - having cousins getting married on a regular basis so we can all get together and party? Priceless.
2. Leaving both your personal and work camera locked up in the office is really just quite silly.
3. Choose a beautiful setting for your ceremony - that's where the real important stuff in front of God happens.
4. Choose a relaxed setting for your reception - so you can have plenty of people to party up a storm.
5. Don't serve steak as the main - everyone likes it different and it's hard to make sure that you don't serve any tough pieces.
6. Do hire a wedding DJ and give him a good idea of your guests and the types of music they enjoy (old school all the way!)
7. Do trick people by saying cash bar on invitation and then turns out it's free :) 
8. Wise idea not to have shooters available so everyone just gets to the merry level all night.
9. Do party with your guests until 2.30am - you invited them coz they special, so celebrate together!
10. Do spend that first night in a romantic place - even though you're exhausted - a lovely tent overlooking the gorge on your farm is a good idea if you have one available :)

Polaroid fun

So I've been terribly slack with my blog so thought I'd have a little fun with a cool Polaroid app I've found. Still just playing around - just worked out how to save on mac but not sure about the whole cropping thing yet. But take a look so far....